Fourth Issue
It is nice to see you again
Hey what’s up buddy.
Sorry I know it’s been a long time since the last one of these came out. And by a long time I mean two weeks which is twice the usual time it has taken me to do these so far but so I hope you can forgive me for the general tardiness of this email but then again the last week for me has not been comprised of many things you would find very interesting so I hope that when you’re done forgiving me you will also thank me for sparing you all of that nonsense and then once you’re done forgiving and thanking me (you gushy emotional bastard) well then I will probably owe you a “thanks for forgiving me” won’t I and let’s not forget a “you’re welcome” on account of myself having also just been thanked and well now hasn’t this been just a fun wholesome introductory exchanging of pleasantries.
Here is a picture that was taken of me when I went to the Post Office to get my passport. I have never been to another country, which hopefully that wasn’t already painfully obvious. This is the photo that will be on my passport and presumably is also the photo that will be disseminated in foreign newspapers should I commit a notable crime during any potential time I might spend abroad:
So that comedy competition that I kept bugging you all about happened last week and it went okay and I got third place. Getting third place is unique because they only ever award the top three places, so if you finished below that you don’t know exactly where you ended up. But when that happens it’s really easy to just say “oh I had a bad night I was off my game” and fantasize that if you’d been on your game, you could easily have won the thing. But getting third place does not back up that fantasy because clearly you were on your game to some extent. But despite this, there were still two people who did better than you. Which really shatters this notion I have that the entire world revolves around me and that I’m better than everyone at everything and a;sdlfkja;lsdw sorry I am on a train.
Here is the prize I received for my third place finish:
N.b. here that nothing on the menu costs less than or equal to $10 (I checked). So in addition to the ego-shattering stuff from before, I have also been awarded a debt. Comedy is hard.
Here are some at-least-semi-blurry photos from another show I did recently. Please take a moment to look at them and notice the part or parts that are blurry:
So since they all have different parts that are blurry or otherwise do not exactly lend themselves to clear observation, I decided to go into Photoshop and see if I could somehow get one actually thoroughly good picture out of the bunch. To my surprise, I was able to combine different parts of each into one comprehensive photo and I think it turned out great.
See for yourself:
wow !
I am doing ten minutes on a variety show (variety means there will be comedy and music) this Saturday afternoon near USC. The show is called Bowl for Three, which I think is a play on the name of this song:
Or maybe it isn’t a reference to that at all. But either way, what a silly fun cool song. Drugs sure are a hell of a drugs.
Here is the poster for the show. If you look really closely, you can pick out the relevant details:
Worth noting that my earlier use of “comedy and music” does not mean that I have begun my inevitable descent into incorporating music into my comedy act. It simply means that there will be both comedians and musicians performing on this show. If you’d like to come to the show and watch both the comedy performances and the music performances (and potentially other things like juggling or belly dancing) and then mentally conflate them later on, well that would be entirely up to you but it is certainly a viable option.
Tickets for this show are $10 and can be purchased here. There is also a Facebook event that can be accessed here. Finally, you can learn how to fly without wings by visiting this page.
Conclusion paragraph:
In conclusion, I was funny two weeks ago and not so funny last week (hence the no email) and so but I will be being even more funnier this coming week because I have a thing* coming up and an episode of a podcast that I was on is coming out soon and also I am co-producing a stand-up show in very early July that is going to have at least one really big name on it that you will hopefully recognize. It is now 12:27am on Sunday morning and I have to finish drafting this so that I can move to the stage of meticulously editing it for syntax and clarity and then send about 100 slightly different test emails to myself and finally approve of one and then crawl into the soft cocoon that is my sleeping apparatus (i.e. “bed”) and very possibly completely forget to schedule this email to be sent out to you at 7:00 tomorrow (today) morning. Goodbye!
*show